Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Is your sales message clear when you write a business proposal?

I recently saw this job advert and read it. Then I read it again and again. And I still had not the faintest idea what the job was about. This is a really good example of bullxxxt bingo!

It's full of jargon, completely unreadable and at the end of it you don't know what it's about. There's sometimes a danger when writing technical proposals that buzzwords start getting thrown around...come to think of it, it doesn't have to be technical for jargon to appear.

We'll cover some aspects of clarity in writing in the next couple of blogs, so if you want to maximise your intellectual capital to declutter your corporate communications whilst rightsizing your client-relationship message transfer then we are going to show you how to re-vitalize a core-competency to move into a gazelle paradigm. Eh?

The short message - this is an advertisement for a job - it's trying to sell something, a place to work. You proposals are there to sell and in order to do that there has to be no confusion what it's about and what you are offering. Look at this job advert. It scores incredibly badly on readability tests but most importantly you have no idea what you would actually be doing if you took this job. Apart from "Build relationships and manage the delivery of a consultation process with stakeholders in line with future strategies". What?

Description:     As part of the efforts geared towards strengthening the failing global economy.
XXXX XXXXXXX Ltd seeks business developers who will proffer business plans and ideas that can be executed to realize and achieve the desired goals.

JOB PURPOSE: To develop and lead implementation of strategies which shape future business delivery and provide the best possible service and information to stakeholders while ensuring compliance with legislation within the Directorate’s responsibilities.


* Business Development Directorate business plan
* Risk Management
* Efficiency measures
* Compliance audits
* Customer satisfaction
* Charter mark criteria met


* Develop a 3-year strategic plan for the Business development Directorate.
* Develop and manage annual business plans identifying key activities, priorities and risks.
* Develop, deliver and evaluate the ILF payment assurance strategy
* Build relationships and manage the delivery of a consultation process with stakeholders in line with future strategies
* Manage the delivery of a revised client service and consultation strategy
* Ensure the Directorate business continuity and recovery requirements are met
* Delivery of the ILF Race Equality Scheme
* Ensure ILF compliance with Data Protection, Freedom of Information Acts
* Improve the ratings of issues on the Risk Register that are owned by the Business Development Directorate


* Relationship management and interpersonal skills
* Communication, influencing and negotiating skills
* Strategy development and Implementation
* Project management
* Presentation skills
* Research and Report writing skills
* Problem solving and decision making
* Change Management
* Coaching & People management
* PC literate with PowerPoint, Excel and Word skills


* Professional and positive approach
* Self motivated
* Strong in building relationships and able to communicate at all levels
* Team player, and able to work on own initiative.
* Dynamic and Creative

ESSENTIAL QUALIFICATIONS: None but graduate level preferred

OTHER DUTIES: Specialist projects as agreed with the CEO to support the business requirements of the organisation. In addition, the Director will be prepared to carry out any other reasonable duties requested by the CEO.